dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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