I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
