i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
