My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
