I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
