i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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