she looked like the before picture.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize