i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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