so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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