D3 body, D1 cock
This is not my ceiling
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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