No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize