all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
