anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
