She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's the barista slut.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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