are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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