right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
