Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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