i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
