Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
why do cheetos always look like penises
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So squirting runs in the family.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
