through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
