I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
