Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
