So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
