After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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