Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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