it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
