woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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