Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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