Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
