He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
