So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
