Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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