Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
