Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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