I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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