My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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