I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
