I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
