do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
