I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
