is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
is wine microwaveable?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
