i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
