Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
