you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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