whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
