please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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