No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
