Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
