Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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