DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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