office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
