Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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