he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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