I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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