mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
