Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
