i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
