how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
