He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
